Washing Clothes: The Cleansing of a Soul
Never underestimate the will of God to woo us to wholeness.
Travel-weary from five days of visiting Civil Rights museums across the South on a bus with forty people, I emerge from the hotel elevator dragging my suitcases toward my room for rest. Trudging down the corridor, a sign designating “Guest Laundry” catches my attention and all of a sudden I have an urgent need to wash a load of clothes. Mind you, this is not necessary. I have diligently packed plenty of clean underwear, shirts and slacks to last me a year. And, yet, the desire is undeniable.
Staggering into my room, exhaustion takes over and I talk myself out of washing clothes that night. Waking early the next morning the persistent nagging need to wash clothes is hounding me. I acquiesce knowing there’s an extra hour today before we board the bus and head down to the front desk for quarters and the complimentary detergent and dryer sheets.
Alone in the guest laundry room, I slip quarters into the coin slot and place my few dirty clothes into the washing machine along with the hotel provided detergent. Warm water mixes with the soap and a clean fresh scent fills the room. I breathe deeply and close my eyes. There’s been little solitude on this pilgrimage nor time to reflect on the horrors my body, mind and spirit have beheld of racial hatred, injustices towards blacks, and flagrant white supremacy that infiltrates America’s sordid history. My body is wrung out and compassion fatigue wrenching my heart. Listening to the sing-song sloshing of the water is solace to my soul.
The humming of the washing machine as it gently agitates my clothes gets louder as it starts to spin. The spinning escalates to a roar and I am sure my clothes have never been spun so fiercely. The vicious spinning must be the meaning of “being put through the wringer.” This is one helluva washing machine and I fear it is never going to stop. The timer flashes three more minutes. And then I get it. Such a thorough spinning of my clothes is much like what is happening to me on this Civil Rights Pilgrimage. As the washing machine spins vigorously a deep spiritual cleansing is taking place within me. All of my racial prejudices, the ancestral shame of having come from slave owners, the lies of American history I was taught and believed, are being washed away. The guilt of white privilege and harsh judgments I’ve made of others are by the grace of God being actively spun out.
Noticing that the brand of laundry detergent is “All” I begin to pray, “Jesus, may all my sins be washed away. May all my pent up guilt and shame be washed away. May God’s grace be poured upon all of me to cleanse me from the sin of slavery and racial prejudice.”
At the end of these prayers, the washing machine comes to a stop. My clothes are clean, free of grime, refreshed and so am I. Transferring my clothes into the dryer I toss in the two complimentary “Snuggle” dryer sheets. An overwhelming desire to snuggle into God’s benevolent arms overtakes me. Feeling God’s loving embrace and hearing a whisper of my belovedness, reassures me of God’s love for us all. Within the fibers of my being I feel forgiven. God’s mercy and call to work for justice seep into the fabric of my soul.
Maybe the urge to wash clothes was nothing more than a need for normalcy in the midst of making a hard journey but I don’t think so. I believe I was beckoned to do so by God. For who knew, other than God, that a hotel guest laundry room would be a place of transformation and healing. That it was on a Sunday morning, the Last Sunday of Epiphany, when Jesus is transfigured gleaming white before his disciples on a mountain top, reminds me that God is always seeking to cleanse us, to make us whole, to woo us to work for restorative justice and healing. May it be so as we seek liberty and justice for all God’s beloved people and may this work be always in me.
by Jenny Montgomery, March 5, 2022